Dear Earth, it's me, Katie.

What inspires me today...
BBC News

So my homepage is BBC news.  Every day I faithfully skim the headlines before updating my Twitter account, reading a few of the articles in more depth if they apply directly to me or my interests.  Today I chose a different route, and began clicking on all the articles at random.  

I realized, I have many things to say to these countries.  I have compiled some useful advice to the world based on what BBC decided to put on the homepage today.

BBC Abridged:
Muscovites: You should keep your windows closed and wear gauze masks to avoid inhaling ash particles.
Croatians: Are you feeling seasonal depression?  Head to Hvar Town. It's the sunniest place in your country.
Italians: Need a face transplant?  Barcelona.  They'll give you your 15 minutes too.   
USA: You should really consider censorship.  
All of Europe: The World Cup is over. Also, look out.  It was only a matter of time before Scientology went straight to the source.
Ocean: It's okay, the storm is over and the bad bad man is going away.
Khmer Rouge in Cambodia: You can run, but you can't hide.
France:  You should all commit tax fraud.  Because you're worth it.

That's about it.  I hope you are all feeling a bit more wealthy (with knowledge, not in the Liliane Bettencourt sense).

Chirp chirp

What inspires me today...
Twits.

Here is something I don't understand (and yes, surprisingly, there are still things I don't understand):
Twitter. 

I don't get it.

Yes, it has been explained to me on more than one occasion.  I understand what "trending" is.  I get how/why you'd @ something.  It took me a while, but I now call it "tweeting" instead of "Twitting" or other less appropriate variations.  The re-tweeting is still mostly a gray area, but I understand the general concept.  But I still don't GET it.

I feel like I have things to say on a semi-regular basis.  I am, after all, an active member of my generation, raised on stubborn individualism and self-indulgence.  But somehow, every time I sign on to my Twitty I become speechless.  Every ounce of wit disappears, and everything I did that day seems pointless to share with all 16 of my anxiously waiting followers. 

So far, I have posted 4 times in the year I've had a Twit account.

I don't know why I freeze every time the little blue bird pops up on my screen, but the fact of the matter is, I probably am just not cut out to maintain a widely read/adored/praised/fascinating blog as well as an equally awesome and perfect and wonderful twitter account.  It's not humanly possible.

For that kind of super-human ability, I would need one of these babies:

I don't have 4 or any G.

Here's another problem: On the rare occasion I open my flutter account, I am never interested in what the people on there have to say.  I'm not trying to slam the 12 people that I follow, you're all great and funny/interesting in person, I'm just saying that unless it's Lil Wayne detailing every minute and minute detail of every day, I'm generally not going to be that interested.   Even SciFi channel Tweaks aren't enthralling.  I guess I also haven't checked recently(ever) to see if Lil Wayne maintains a Twitter account. 

So maybe I owe it another chance.

Close the laundry door

What inspires me today...
Piles.

Do you ever get to the end of the week and realize, hey, I told myself last weekend that I was going to do my laundry.  And then proceed to remember the weekend before that where the same epiphany came upon you... And the weekend before that...?  I know I sure did.  Hence why my floor looked like this when I opened my closet after quite a few passing weekends of no laundry:

I don't think I own enough patterned items.

Laundry day.  The day I realized that it wasn't that I didn't have any clothes and needed to buy more... It's just that they're all stuffed into a little mesh hamper, brimming over the edge.  First time doing laundry in the new house...

Also, to add to the list of firsts on this squeaky clean day, I bleached a load of whites.  Did I know what I was doing? No.  Did I manage to get a strawberry stain out of the front of my white dress?  You better believe it.  

Postwar.
(Good thing I hadn't put my phone through the wash cycle like I originally thought I had... Or else no pictures for you, dearest blog reader.)

Moral of the story: don't wait many weeks to do your laundry.  

Better moral: DO wait many weeks to do your laundry.  It's like getting a whole new wardrobe when you reach the pants you haven't seen in a month and had mostly forgotten.

Best moral: bleach is bad for nature... But if forced to choose one nature-killing substance to use, and the rest disappear, I choose bleach.  Any day of the week.

Post script: This all occurred on Friday.  It is now Tuesday night and I still have a few little piles of clean laundry to put away.  Maybe I will just wear all the clothes in the piles until they're dirty... Saves me a step.

What's lookin' good cookin'?

What inspires me today...
Baking.
Already established facts: 
  • I am not what one would call a "chef."
  • In Spanish class, I do not list "cocinar" as one of my hobbies.
  • I have very simple tastes.
  • If it can't be blended or tossed with dressing/beans and rice, I have no use for it.
That being said, once in a blue moon I have a flash of inspiration/hunger and the domestic goddess comes hence from the depths of my soul where I keep her hidden, and whips up something magical in the kitchen.

The other night, there was one of those moons.

At Vons (a popular grocery store) right next to those golden bunches of bananas, there are little paper bags labeled: RIPE.  As I scanned back and forth between the two, trying to decide on the best purchase, I realized that on said bag there was a recipe for, you guessed it, banana bread.  (It may have also been the .25 per pound as opposed to .69 per pound...)

So, in the second installment of Katie Can Cook, I bake for you: 
Banana Bread

AND, since I am far too lazy to write out all the ingredients/process to make banana bread, one which you can find on any website/discount bag of RIPE bananas at Vons, I will just tell you that it is delicious.  

A helpful visual aid

I made two loaves, both of which disappeared by the next day, save one tiny piece.  What is it about the very last piece...  No one ever wants to be the one to finish the loaf.

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